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Compatibility and Chemistry in a Mentoring Relationship

2 minute read

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A lot of people have a mindset that for a partnership to be successful, you need to have the ever elusive element of chemistry. But how big of a role does chemistry have? Is it really that necessary to succeed? Let’s have a deeper look and find out

What is Chemistry and Mentoring?

Chemistry is a feeling of a special connection with another person. It’s something that makes you want more of a specific person and it doesn’t have to be in a romantic context. Mentoring on the other hand is a relationship between two people that has a common goal of professional and personal growth. 

Is Chemistry Vital for Your Mentoring Relationship?

Although having that chemistry right from the start of your mentoring relationship is great to keep things going, it is not everything. If you’re looking for a mentor with chemistry in mind, chances are, you’re limiting yourself and the knowledge you can gain in a relationship because there are times when you can learn new approaches and styles from other people. Though these may not be your mentors for the longest time, it is a good practice to learn perspectives and ideas from them and trust what you may learn from each other. 

Why Does Compatibility Matter?

What’s more important than chemistry is compatibility. Compatibility is a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. This is vital to make sure that your relationship will succeed no matter how long or short it is. An incompatible mentor and mentee relationship tends to break due to things like conflict of interest, scheduling challenges and unrealistic expectations.

When you’re compatible with your mentor or mentee, things will flow smoothly and you’ll be learning a lot from each other during your time together.

Determining the Compatibility

Finding someone compatible with you might be a tough task to accomplish. There are a lot of things that needs to be considered and checked so here are some tips on how to determine your compatibility with another person

  • Sharing the same core values. Hard decisions will be much easier since you both share the same values.
  • Your interests overlap. Nothing beats a mentoring partner that shares the same interests as you.
  • You take responsibility and apologize. You’re never afraid to apologize and take responsibility for mistakes you made.
  • You share vulnerably with each other. You can freely share your stories without thinking twice.


Finding a mentor or mentee that you have chemistry with is a great thing but not necessary. You’ll find that you’ll be learning a lot from other people that you’re compatible with. Find those people, make them your mentoring circle, and you’ll see that chemistry is not everything.

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